The Spring That Almost Wasn’t

I hope I’m jinxing myself by writing this column. It never fails, when I write about how horrible the weather is, the stretch of weather accompanying the publication date of my article is the total opposite from what I’m writing about. Since I’m writing about how bad our spring weather has been, with no end to the cool, cloudy days in sight, chances are we’ll go into an early stretch of pre-summer weather with sunny skies and warm temperatures in the nineties. As you read this,  the weather outside will either be fantastic thus proving my writing-jinx theory, or the weather will be incredibly dismal and my article will be more timely than ever. It’s a win-win gamble I’m willing to take.

This year, the weather in April was cool but seasonal. Weeks of non-stop rain raised the water levels and lifted us out of drought danger. As the month dragged on, so did the unsettled weather. The month of May was lost to a sea of gray skies, cold drizzle and below average temperatures. It is officially listed as the coldest May ever recorded.

Now it’s the beginning of June and I just heard the weatherman say we can expect a nor’easter, then higher than normal temperatures after the rain moves through. Obviously Mother Nature has forgotten to take her medication. Or maybe she’s just mad at President Trump for dropping out of the Paris Climate Accord.

“I’ll show that bubble-headed blonde buffoon a climate change he’ll never forget! Bwa-ha-ha-ha!” Hell hath no fury like Mother Nature scorned, especially in New England.

The weather during the last few weeks has been extremely schizophrenic. Some people are bundled up in winter coats while others are strolling around in cargo shorts and tank tops. The furnace in my basement roared back to life in the beginning of June as the heat kicked on. I can’t remember the last time that happened in June (if ever). I hate when it’s colder inside the house than it is outside. It was so cold in my living room, my wife’s teeth were chattering while she huddled beneath two comforters (and two cats) on the living room sofa. I told her I was going outside to sit on the front porch to warm up.

I put my air-conditioners in my windows in May during our now forgotten two-day heatwave. I haven’t  turned them on since then. Something tells me my electric bill may be lower this summer if the current cooling trend continues. I won’t mind. I’ll have time to pay off my home heating bill from last year.

I never thought I’d be happy doing household chores. The other night I replaced my storm doors with screen doors in the front and back of my house. I was positively giddy at the thought that it might be warm enough to actually open up the doors this spring. I even replaced the screens without my cats accidentally escaping.

The official first day of summer is Wednesday, June 21st. I won’t complain about not having a spring if we have a nice summer. And if that nice summer turns into an extended warm Fall season like it has for the past fews years, then I’m all in. The waiting is the hardest part. That’s what Tom Petty says anyway.

Summer is so short in New England. I’m going to savor every moment. That includes breakfast on my patio and long stretches of time sitting on my front porch reading books. I will spend as little time as possible in front of my television, as long as I can escape the hooks of Big Brother (the television series, not the government’s secret photographic eye-in-the-sky satellite system). I’m also contemplating a self-imposed “news blackout” this summer. We’ve all been inundated with hourly breaking news every day since last November. I don’t think I’ll miss anything important. What are the chances of that?

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