9 Myths of Christmas

     The holidays are fast approaching. There is no escape from the snowball effect as time speeds up and days dwindle when the countdown begins. I’m taking a break from my busy schedule to expose some truths I’ve learned over the years.

Myth 1 – Everybody hates fruitcake

FALSE: I was surprised to learn not everybody hates fruitcake. Most people don’t know what the ingredients are. The cake part is as questionable as the fruit. What are those green things anyway? My late mother loved fruitcake. I know this because every year around the holidays I would give her one. It was the only consistent gift I knew she’d be happy with. I know she loved them because after she passed away, I found every fruitcake I ever gave her stored lovingly in the freezer in her basement. Most of them were still wrapped with the tags still on. I think she wanted to treasure my gifts forever.

Myth 2 – Real Christmas Trees are better than Fake Trees

FALSE: My “fake” tree is just as good as your “real” tree, if not better. The day after Thanksgiving, my tree is up in an instant, looking regal as it stands in the corner complete with pre-installed lights twinkling to perfection. (It’s from the “Martha Stewart” collection – expensive but on clearance at Home Depot) No longer do I have to brave the cold with my family to pick out an over-priced sap-filled pine tree. And I don’t miss the arduous process of decision by committee

Me: “How about this one?”

My family: “No.”

Me: “This one?”

My family: “No.”

This continues for at least 45 minutes until everyone finally agrees on the first one I picked out. And have you seen the prices lately? My tree may be artificial but my Christmas Spirit is very real.

Myth 3 – Christmas Eve is better than Christmas Morning

TRUE: The excitement of dreams yet to come makes Christmas Eve a magical time. The night is electric as anticipation mounts while the clock creeps ahead ever so slowly. Christmas morning is anti-climactic by comparison. The night before is filled with promise. Christmas morning is filled with ugly sweaters, ill-fitting slippers, and batteries-not-included. Christmas Eve never ends, but on Christmas morning, the holiday is over.

Myth 4 – Flying reindeer really exist

TRUE: I learned this on the nightly news last year when I saw a report about a reindeer that flew through a car windshield. It didn’t turn out well for the driver or the reindeer for that matter. There are several similar documented cases. That’s what happens when you take to the air before graduating from Reindeer Flight School.

Myth 5 – Good things come in small packages

TRUE: Never choose the biggest gift at an Office Holiday Grab or a Yankee Swap. Large packages are often giant stuffed animals or oversized tins of popcorn, or worse, Poppycock, a favorite grab gift staple. During one of my office holiday parties, the smallest wrapped gift contained two tickets to a future Red Sox game. Priceless!

Myth 6 – Everybody loves a White Christmas

FALSE: I like it to snow at midnight on Christmas Eve. For about ten minutes. I like to gaze out my window and exclaim, “Oh, look! It’s beautiful!” I like a light dusting of powder to give the landscape a sparkling glow. I also like any accumulation to be gone by morning. If I gaze out my window at 7 a.m. and there is a foot of snow on the ground, I usually exclaim, “That’s it! We’re moving to Florida!”

Myth 7 – A Christmas Carol is the best holiday story ever written:

TRUE: Even though “It’s A Wonderful Life” is a great movie with a really nice life lesson, the transformation of Ebenezer Scrooge from bah-humbug curmudgeon to delirious philanthropist is positively heartwarming.  The fact that it was published in 1836 and still holds up so well even today is a tribute to its longevity. Jimmy Stewart was a master at his craft, but Charles Dickens was a genius.

Myth 8 – Santa Claus is real.

TRUE: I know this firsthand because as a young child, I made my way downstairs one Christmas morning before anyone in my house was awake. The night was cold, dark and still. There was a faint glow from the lights on our tree in the parlor. As I quietly crept down the last few stairs, my hand froze on the bannister at the sound of jingling bells. I peeked into the room from the doorway. There was Santa Claus standing in front of my tree. He turned and looked at me. There was a twinkle in his eye as he put his white-gloved finger up to his mouth and whispered, “Shhh.” I turned around, pale faced and scared, and crept slowly back up to my room. Some things from your childhood you never forget. 

Myth 9: It is better to give than to receive

TRUE: Christmas should be about giving, not getting. People always ask “What did you get for Christmas”. Not many ask “What did you give for Christmas?” I believe in karma. The energy you send out into the universe comes back to you tenfold. I’m not sure where this philosophy comes from, but I’ve seen it proven true in my world. As difficult as it is, I always try to put a positive spin on everything I do. It seems to be working. I’d like to wish everyone a peaceful, prosperous, joyful holiday season.

One thought on “9 Myths of Christmas

  1. I hate fruitcake and A Chrustmas Story is the best movie of all time. I always wanted a Red Ryder BB gun but my mother told me I could put an eye out. So I would sit on the floor in our “parlor” and open up the Sears & Roebuck pajamas my Italian grandmother would give me every year and sulk. Great Memories Scott.

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